I once was a person who put a lot of stock into acquiring *money*. My entire childhood was overshadowed by the lack of money we had. We couldn't buy this, we couldn't go there, we couldn't live here...all because of the need for money. So I started to wonder how I could acquire a lot of it. I didn't think about the actual needs, just the money part. In my head I had begun to see money as the need.
The problem/need is not the money. The problem is poor planning and discipline. With a reliable, well planned budget and the will to stick to it, one can acquire almost anything they need (within reason and limits).
One of the things I noticed about myself when I was obsessed with money, was that I had this huge list of things I wanted to get. They were things I thought I needed and wanted. I am 27yrs old and most of the stuff I had in mind is no longer on my list. Most of them were unnecessary nice-ities. It took years to rid myself of the *gotta have this* problem. But in the end...it was weeded out-it costs too much to keep up with the Jone*s. Now that I want less unimportant things, I have plenty of money to get the things I want.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Going Strong
It's Wednesday and it's been a while since I last wrote. Great Easter, missed my peeps, but got to go to see Kjelle's family in Trondheim. Boy, did I pig out on HotDogs. I have been exercising consistently and I am losing weight slowly but surely. I drink about 8-12 cups of water a day and I have been eating healthy, small meals. Got a spring routine that is going pretty well so far and is challenging, but not overwhelming. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I jog to and from work (about 2 miles) and in the morning I do 2 sets of 10pushups, 15situps, 15outerthigh, 15 glute exercises. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I don't run but do 2 sets of 10tricep, 15calf, 15innerthigh, 15 situps exercises. They are all low impact and all they are meant to do is keep me fit while I tone and trim down. I don't do more than that because I build muscle too easily and don't want to look like a weightlifter my the bikini season. And of course, I still have my goal of fitting into my new jeans. Ironically, I think it may end up being too hot to wear my jeans by the time I fit into them :p
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Lazy Fussy Thursday
HeiHei
I haven't been to busy lately. But I have an update on the exercise: I beat the trikk the first day I tried. So my run time is about 10 minutes from Oslo S to Sagene-not bad. 2) I lost 2 kilos (roughly 4 pounds) 1.5 kilos was water weight, I am assuming, and .5 (1 pound) was actually weight loss from my gooey warehouse. It's been about 1.5 weeks since I increased my frequency exercise, so it's a pretty good start. I feel my thermo-genesis kicking in a lot. I also am building my endurance and stamina again. So far I haven't gotten bulky either. I am still trying to get at least 2 liters of water in my system a day...sometimes it's a pain. It does help my hunger though. When I am done eating I gulp down my .5 liter of water and it fills all the extra space in my stomach. I feel full and don't have to deal with distracting hunger pains.
I don't have any definite plans for Easter, but wish I could see my family or do something instead of sitting around Oslo. I also wish my family didn't live in Ohio. I have never particularly warmed up to Ohio's many miles of spoiled nature covered in drab concrete, asphalt, and hideous forbidding architecture surrounded by an atmosphere of air pollution. But I can only speak for the Cincinnati and southern half of Ohio. I miss my family. Talking on the phone and writing just doesn't fill the void. When I get a full-time job, I'll be able to travel home again...got pass my language test!
I haven't been to busy lately. But I have an update on the exercise: I beat the trikk the first day I tried. So my run time is about 10 minutes from Oslo S to Sagene-not bad. 2) I lost 2 kilos (roughly 4 pounds) 1.5 kilos was water weight, I am assuming, and .5 (1 pound) was actually weight loss from my gooey warehouse. It's been about 1.5 weeks since I increased my frequency exercise, so it's a pretty good start. I feel my thermo-genesis kicking in a lot. I also am building my endurance and stamina again. So far I haven't gotten bulky either. I am still trying to get at least 2 liters of water in my system a day...sometimes it's a pain. It does help my hunger though. When I am done eating I gulp down my .5 liter of water and it fills all the extra space in my stomach. I feel full and don't have to deal with distracting hunger pains.
I don't have any definite plans for Easter, but wish I could see my family or do something instead of sitting around Oslo. I also wish my family didn't live in Ohio. I have never particularly warmed up to Ohio's many miles of spoiled nature covered in drab concrete, asphalt, and hideous forbidding architecture surrounded by an atmosphere of air pollution. But I can only speak for the Cincinnati and southern half of Ohio. I miss my family. Talking on the phone and writing just doesn't fill the void. When I get a full-time job, I'll be able to travel home again...got pass my language test!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Bought some Hair Stuff
Since I moved here, I have been slowly restocking my hair arsenal. I am using the Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil product line. So far I am having wonderful results with it. I wash my hair everyday, so I needed a mild shampoo and a kick ass conditioner. Today I bought the Wrap/Set Mousse and Glossing Polisher. Some other things I bought today include: Hair Pins, Small Plastic Magnetic Curlers, a Conditioning Cap, Rat-tail Comb, Spray Bottle, and a Comb Attachment for my hair dryer. I don't use my hair dryer much (so far only once this year and maybe 2-3 times last year), but I need this attachment to help loosen the coils when I want to try different styles.
My next hair style experiment is styling some Shirley Temple Curls in my natural hair. I don't want them to be the stiff ribbons you get when you set your hair with a lot of product. My goal is to get a well defined curl, little frizz, healthy shine, low product build up, and touchable curls with some bounce. If it works out, I will style my hair in a curly Mohawk like the photo above. It was my goal for last X.mas...but I was too lazy :P
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Psyched for the New Routine next week
A little about me. I have been *not myself* for a long while. In fact, I lost a lot of confidence in myself. I was sure that anything positive or outstanding I did was because I was forced to in some way. Was I always falsely motivated? I was smart, but I didn't care. I only started excelling at school to hopefully make my father want to be...my father. And also, if he didn't want to be my dad-I would become a magnificent daughter who would shun him in his old age and hopefully send him to his grave regretting and miserable. Yep, I was that screwed up.
I got into the military for pride, patriotism, and to lower the amount of mouths to feed at home. I ran myself to death because my asshole ex belittled women saying, "The strongest women in the military were equal to the weakest man." So I busted ass at PT to prove him wrong. I was one of the top airmen, only because I hated being told what to do by people I thought were more ignorant than me. I know there are a lot of good reasons why I excelled, but I used my negative energy as fuel everything I did.
But now I am starting to find my fire again...one my own. It is actually frightening. I am nervous of failing myself, but nervous of succeeding as well. But I am very competitive, and a big part of me refuses to lose to *Suckie BonBon* So tomorrow...She's going down.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Saturday and Relaxing
Hmmm...what should I write about? Not doing too much here.
Oh! My New Year's Resolutions and hair stuff.
This year I want to finally be fit and in shape. I have a lot of jeans I got but they are a size 7, and I am a size 9. I don't have too far to go. This year I wanted to create habits out of my resolutions instead of them dwindling away by the end of the year. I want to drink 2 liters of water a day (conversion is 8 cups of water). BTW when they say 8 cups, they actually mean like 8 measuring cups...not 8 glasses. It is pretty easy to achieve this goal...at least it has been so far. I want to grow healthy hair. I cleared my goal of 6 inches for last year and am headed for another 6 this year. I am being gentle with my hair and letting it relax.
I am thinking of adding another goal to my regime...Out Run my Trikk( trikk is a trolley) I travel home by it after work. I am planning to bring my work out clothes and jog the path home. I was considering making a T-shirt also. Meg mot Trikken (Me versus the trolley)
And more on hair...
What do I use myself? Organics Root Stimulator's: Neutralizing shampoo (it has more goodies in it than the Creamy Aloe Shampoo), Replenishing Conditioner (smells like oranges...mmmm), Olive Oil Moisturizing Lotion, Olive Oil Sheen, and Olive Oil Smooth n Hold Pudding. I wash my hair every day nearly (your scalp needs to be cleansed regularly to reduce clogged pores and oil/product build up). But you have to gauge how often your hair needs to be washed ( I exercise a lot and sweat is not good to keep on the skin). Now that my hair is long enough to manage more styles, I am getting more enthusiastic about different styles. I am wearing Youtube OUT. Anyways, talk to you later.
Oh! My New Year's Resolutions and hair stuff.
This year I want to finally be fit and in shape. I have a lot of jeans I got but they are a size 7, and I am a size 9. I don't have too far to go. This year I wanted to create habits out of my resolutions instead of them dwindling away by the end of the year. I want to drink 2 liters of water a day (conversion is 8 cups of water). BTW when they say 8 cups, they actually mean like 8 measuring cups...not 8 glasses. It is pretty easy to achieve this goal...at least it has been so far. I want to grow healthy hair. I cleared my goal of 6 inches for last year and am headed for another 6 this year. I am being gentle with my hair and letting it relax.
I am thinking of adding another goal to my regime...Out Run my Trikk( trikk is a trolley) I travel home by it after work. I am planning to bring my work out clothes and jog the path home. I was considering making a T-shirt also. Meg mot Trikken (Me versus the trolley)
And more on hair...
What do I use myself? Organics Root Stimulator's: Neutralizing shampoo (it has more goodies in it than the Creamy Aloe Shampoo), Replenishing Conditioner (smells like oranges...mmmm), Olive Oil Moisturizing Lotion, Olive Oil Sheen, and Olive Oil Smooth n Hold Pudding. I wash my hair every day nearly (your scalp needs to be cleansed regularly to reduce clogged pores and oil/product build up). But you have to gauge how often your hair needs to be washed ( I exercise a lot and sweat is not good to keep on the skin). Now that my hair is long enough to manage more styles, I am getting more enthusiastic about different styles. I am wearing Youtube OUT. Anyways, talk to you later.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Hi Lili
Long time no see folks. It's been 8 months! I could have nearly given birth by now (not preggers-just an example). Well, I am back. I got distracted by the stress of moving to a new country and have settled down a little. I saw my blog again on facebook and came back to see my rantings again. Nothing too crazy at least.
I miss my little sister and she is the only one of my siblings who is still a minor-she's my little sister, which leaves with the responsibility of being A Big Sister. I went natural last year and I hope my sister is doing the same. I came up with an idea to put video letters to her in youtube, but I haven't decided if that is a good thing or not. Plus, there is the apprehension of not knowing how to do it properly.
So, I will start here:
HI LILI!!
Growing your hair out is hard and frustrating, especially if it is naturally tight coiling hair. I will continue my journey to grow out my hair without chemical processes and I hope this will be a great source for you to be close to me again. My goal is to restore my 18" long hair length with natural hair instead of relaxed hair. I hope you will take this journey with me, Lili. It's been a year so here is the new picture of me. In the photo I seem to have straighter wavy hair, but I don't. It's the same as yours and I can show you how I got it under control. You can where all the styles you want (within reason) and your hair can do so many things.
See you soon,
Bonna
P.S. I almost forgot!!
HI Mom, Aaron, Raymond, Chris and all my nephews!!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Tried Something Crazy
As I have said before-I have oily skin. Well, at a certain point every month it gets worse and my face is on oil production overload. No matter how many times I wash my face I can't keep up with it. Soon my pores are full of waxy plugs. If I don't wash them out they will cause my whole face to break out into painful pimples. I washed my face like five times and toned with apple cider vinegar-but get this...I could still feel oil dissolving off my skin and a lot of it.
I remembered that Dawn dish detergent rips though oil. But of course *they* say don't use it because it's too harsh.
But then I remember 2 really significant arguments to that-Environmentalists use Dawn to clean animals who are victims of oil spills and when I volunteered for the SPCA, we had to use it on kittens to clean their skin. Animal skin is far more sensitive to the drying effect of our manufactured cleaners because they have thinner and fewer layers of epidermis. And being that we use it on our hands daily and require simply to moisture to our hands...why can't I use it on my face?
So I guinea pigged myself.
I used three drops of Dawn (original) and rubbed it into my skin for 5 minutes. I used the back of my nails to apply pressure (like if you were to flick something off a table). I was really careful to not scrape roughly because I really didn't want Dawn being rubbed into damaged skin. I rinsed my face thoroughly, patted it dry, and applied a lot (quarter-sized amount) of aloe vera gel immediately to my skin. Then I patted on my night moisturizer.
The next morning my skin was like new and rebalanced with no waxy oil plugs or pimples or irritation.
Hey! It WORKED!
I wouldn't suggest doing this on a regular basis EVER. It's an extreme measure and could potentially irritate sensitive skin or throw off the balance of your skin. But if your skin is having an oil spill you may want to try it. I don't know how this will work on acne prone skin that is constantly being attacked with *acne products and chemicals* But if you know your skin and what it reacts to, then feel free to try this. Use ALOE VERA GEL because it is a very potent moisturizer and THEN apply your regular moisturizer after the gel has been absorbed.
If any other bold beauties have tried this experiment...let me know what your findings were.
I remembered that Dawn dish detergent rips though oil. But of course *they* say don't use it because it's too harsh.
But then I remember 2 really significant arguments to that-Environmentalists use Dawn to clean animals who are victims of oil spills and when I volunteered for the SPCA, we had to use it on kittens to clean their skin. Animal skin is far more sensitive to the drying effect of our manufactured cleaners because they have thinner and fewer layers of epidermis. And being that we use it on our hands daily and require simply to moisture to our hands...why can't I use it on my face?
So I guinea pigged myself.
I used three drops of Dawn (original) and rubbed it into my skin for 5 minutes. I used the back of my nails to apply pressure (like if you were to flick something off a table). I was really careful to not scrape roughly because I really didn't want Dawn being rubbed into damaged skin. I rinsed my face thoroughly, patted it dry, and applied a lot (quarter-sized amount) of aloe vera gel immediately to my skin. Then I patted on my night moisturizer.
The next morning my skin was like new and rebalanced with no waxy oil plugs or pimples or irritation.
Hey! It WORKED!
I wouldn't suggest doing this on a regular basis EVER. It's an extreme measure and could potentially irritate sensitive skin or throw off the balance of your skin. But if your skin is having an oil spill you may want to try it. I don't know how this will work on acne prone skin that is constantly being attacked with *acne products and chemicals* But if you know your skin and what it reacts to, then feel free to try this. Use ALOE VERA GEL because it is a very potent moisturizer and THEN apply your regular moisturizer after the gel has been absorbed.
If any other bold beauties have tried this experiment...let me know what your findings were.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
THE FACE BASICS: Masks
Masks are great for deep treatments. The mask you use and your skin type should regulate how often you use them. If you are using a different mask other than the one in the video be sure to check if it has special instructions.
The basic rules for masks is to use them AFTER you have thoroughly cleansed your face and follow the instructions precisely.
YOU WILL NEED:
FACIAL MASK
COTTON BALL/PAD
1) Apply the mask gently to your face with the cotton ball/pad (don't use the cotton pad to scrub it in).
2) In circular motions spread and massage the mask into your skin for 2-5 minutes.
3) Let the mask set and thicken on your face.
4) Gently was the mask off (splash some water on your face to loosen the sugar and honey that is not absorbed so it doesn't scratch your face as you wash the mask off)
5) PAT you face dry
*from here you would apply toner or facial moisturizer.*
The basic rules for masks is to use them AFTER you have thoroughly cleansed your face and follow the instructions precisely.
YOU WILL NEED:
FACIAL MASK
COTTON BALL/PAD
1) Apply the mask gently to your face with the cotton ball/pad (don't use the cotton pad to scrub it in).
2) In circular motions spread and massage the mask into your skin for 2-5 minutes.
3) Let the mask set and thicken on your face.
4) Gently was the mask off (splash some water on your face to loosen the sugar and honey that is not absorbed so it doesn't scratch your face as you wash the mask off)
5) PAT you face dry
*from here you would apply toner or facial moisturizer.*
THE FACE BASICS: Step 2-Toning and Moisturizing
Throughout the year your skin is going to react differently according to the severity of your weather patterns, seasons, and skin type. Toners help like back up plans. They should remove and help dissolve dead skin and oils, refresh your skin, and balance your skins moisture and oil levels. Use toners as often as you need them AFTER you have cleansed your face.
YOU WILL NEED:
TONER
I prefer to use a natural toner as it does not contain alcohol or questionable ingredients. You don't want one that has a lot of *stuff* in it because this is going to be sitting on your skin until you wash it again. The link below is the best recipe I have ever used for a mask and a toner and I have tried a lot. Natural is the way to go if you can.
1) Apply toner gently and evenly to your face with a cotton ball/pad.
(DO NOT RUB-The cotton provides enough abrasion. Note: if it stings, it means your skin has abrasions or scratches on it-which means you may have washed your skin too roughly or a pimple has erupted).
2) Let the toner air dry a little; don't let it dry completely or your skin will feel taunt and dry.
3) PAT a dime-sized amount of aloe vera gel all over your face, especially around your eyes and lips. Keep patting gently until it is absorbed
4) PAT on a small (pea sized) amount of facial moisturizer. Use it mainly where you get dry skin, then lastly over your oily areas. Also dabble on your favorite wrinkle cream in the needed places. Be sure to use something that provides some SPF protection.
YOU WILL NEED:
TONER
COTTON BALL/ PADS
ALOE VERA GEL
FACIAL MOISTURIZER
ALOE VERA GEL
FACIAL MOISTURIZER
I prefer to use a natural toner as it does not contain alcohol or questionable ingredients. You don't want one that has a lot of *stuff* in it because this is going to be sitting on your skin until you wash it again. The link below is the best recipe I have ever used for a mask and a toner and I have tried a lot. Natural is the way to go if you can.
1) Apply toner gently and evenly to your face with a cotton ball/pad.
(DO NOT RUB-The cotton provides enough abrasion. Note: if it stings, it means your skin has abrasions or scratches on it-which means you may have washed your skin too roughly or a pimple has erupted).
2) Let the toner air dry a little; don't let it dry completely or your skin will feel taunt and dry.
3) PAT a dime-sized amount of aloe vera gel all over your face, especially around your eyes and lips. Keep patting gently until it is absorbed
4) PAT on a small (pea sized) amount of facial moisturizer. Use it mainly where you get dry skin, then lastly over your oily areas. Also dabble on your favorite wrinkle cream in the needed places. Be sure to use something that provides some SPF protection.
THE FACE BASICS: Step 1-Washing It
I have oily skin and it's sensitive to a lot of strange things. I also get acne and shine spots (ruins my make-up). Over the course of the different seasons my skin will have different problems-in the Winter my face is very dry, in the Spring/Fall it's like combination skin, and in the Summer it's oily. This method of washing your face will work for all skin types year-around.
YOU WILL NEED:
FACIAL CLEANSER
A TOWEL
A HOT/WET WASHCLOTH (optional to prep face)
I prefer to use a gentle cream cleanser because:
1) Doesn't dry out or irritate skin.
(DID YOU KNOW (DYK)? Oily skin is very dry because it lacks moisture=water)
2) Works for all other skin types (dry, sensitive, combination, and oily)
3) The oil in skin is resistant to water. You can wash your face but still have pores clogged with that thick waxy oil that causes pimples and blackheads which traps bacteria under your skin. The non-cream and non-oil soaps don't do so well of a job at removing oil during the wash without overdrying and irritating the skin.
(DYK) The oil on your face is actually good? It reduces the look of age and locks in moisture. If you agitate or off-balance your skin, you will produce more of it (not so much for dry skin types). That's why strong acne products can be bad for you-they fix the pimple but set your skin up to make more :(
WASHING THE FACE:
1) Soak a washcloth in very warm water (as hot as you can tolerate it). Squeeze out the excess water quickly and press the cloth to your face. (this will open your pores and soften the oils in your skin as well as killing bacteria in the pores.)
*You should not have water dripping from your face as you just want the heat and steam to prep your face for a deeper clean.
2) Apply the facial cleanser to face without diluting it with water.
3) Spread the product in circular motions.
*Mainly use your fingers to wash your face. If you use your palms be gentle because they are rougher than your fingertips. DO NOT SCRUB your face-this damages the skin which will cause it to be irritated (RED skin), cause your skin to blemish or promote acne (more places for bacteria to effect), and make you skin look older/worn (wrinkles and poor complexion tone).
4) PAT your face dry with your towel
(DO NOT RUB it dry for the same reasons you don't scrub it and because it remove too much moisture=water from your skin) Try not to use the same towel you dry your body with after bathing
*At this point you can use a toner or mask for a deeper clean (exfoliating/moisturizing/acne treating). Remember that your facial wash is for daily washing and your mask is for deep treatments or if you need to seriously clean and reset you face. I recommend you do it at least once a week. Toners help re-balance your skins acidity, moisture, and oil levels-DO NOT use a toner that contains alcohol. Make a day/hour your beauty time.*
YOU WILL NEED:
FACIAL CLEANSER
A TOWEL
A HOT/WET WASHCLOTH (optional to prep face)
I prefer to use a gentle cream cleanser because:
1) Doesn't dry out or irritate skin.
(DID YOU KNOW (DYK)? Oily skin is very dry because it lacks moisture=water)
2) Works for all other skin types (dry, sensitive, combination, and oily)
3) The oil in skin is resistant to water. You can wash your face but still have pores clogged with that thick waxy oil that causes pimples and blackheads which traps bacteria under your skin. The non-cream and non-oil soaps don't do so well of a job at removing oil during the wash without overdrying and irritating the skin.
(DYK) The oil on your face is actually good? It reduces the look of age and locks in moisture. If you agitate or off-balance your skin, you will produce more of it (not so much for dry skin types). That's why strong acne products can be bad for you-they fix the pimple but set your skin up to make more :(
WASHING THE FACE:
1)
*You should not have water dripping from your face as you just want the heat and steam to prep your face for a deeper clean.
2) Apply the facial cleanser to face without diluting it with water.
3) Spread the product in circular motions.
*Mainly use your fingers to wash your face. If you use your palms be gentle because they are rougher than your fingertips. DO NOT SCRUB your face-this damages the skin which will cause it to be irritated (RED skin), cause your skin to blemish or promote acne (more places for bacteria to effect), and make you skin look older/worn (wrinkles and poor complexion tone).
4) PAT your face dry with your towel
(DO NOT RUB it dry for the same reasons you don't scrub it and because it remove too much moisture=water from your skin) Try not to use the same towel you dry your body with after bathing
*At this point you can use a toner or mask for a deeper clean (exfoliating/moisturizing/acne treating). Remember that your facial wash is for daily washing and your mask is for deep treatments or if you need to seriously clean and reset you face. I recommend you do it at least once a week. Toners help re-balance your skins acidity, moisture, and oil levels-DO NOT use a toner that contains alcohol. Make a day/hour your beauty time.*
WHAT IS BEAUTY ANYWAY?
It doesn't matter how pretty or ugly you are on the outside-your inner beauty will make or break you. The most gorgeous nymph-like person can be the most hideous thing if they are shallow, cruel, pessimistic or insensitive. They would only be as good as a flame to a moth-attract them...then burn them). On the opposite end, someone who is disturbingly ugly who has depth, compassion, optimism or sensitivity can leave you marveling at a living oxymoron.
We all fit in there somewhere with good and bad traits on the outside and inside. But there is one thing we can change (without chemicals or plastic surgery) that will make the difference in whether we are beautiful or not. Throw away what the world says you are and just be you. Go back to when you were a small child, before people called you names or coo-ed at your adorable face. Remember that feeling? If you can't, look at nature. One of my favorite examples is the dog because their nature is similar to ours. They have personalities ranging from aggressive to passive, but naturally they have open eyes for learning, playing, living, being-without any known (as far as we know) knowledge of what is pretty and what is not. If you care to look farther, it is very much the same throughout nature. Be who you are naturally.
I recommend you read Don't Be That Girl, by Travis L. Stork and Leah Furman. I know it is a female related book, but think males should read it too. It points out a lot of things we do that make us less beautiful to ourselves and to others. The book helped me notice and get rid of the parts of me that were behaviors learned to cope with and fit into a negative environment. There is a section within it on friendship and how to be a good partner as well. In taking that advice I was able to become a better friend, person, and companion. (If anyone knows any good books that may be more suited for males, send me a recommendation!).
We all fit in there somewhere with good and bad traits on the outside and inside. But there is one thing we can change (without chemicals or plastic surgery) that will make the difference in whether we are beautiful or not. Throw away what the world says you are and just be you. Go back to when you were a small child, before people called you names or coo-ed at your adorable face. Remember that feeling? If you can't, look at nature. One of my favorite examples is the dog because their nature is similar to ours. They have personalities ranging from aggressive to passive, but naturally they have open eyes for learning, playing, living, being-without any known (as far as we know) knowledge of what is pretty and what is not. If you care to look farther, it is very much the same throughout nature. Be who you are naturally.
I recommend you read Don't Be That Girl, by Travis L. Stork and Leah Furman. I know it is a female related book, but think males should read it too. It points out a lot of things we do that make us less beautiful to ourselves and to others. The book helped me notice and get rid of the parts of me that were behaviors learned to cope with and fit into a negative environment. There is a section within it on friendship and how to be a good partner as well. In taking that advice I was able to become a better friend, person, and companion. (If anyone knows any good books that may be more suited for males, send me a recommendation!).
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