Psyched for the New Routine next week

A little about me. I have been *not myself* for a long while. In fact, I lost a lot of confidence in myself. I was sure that anything positive or outstanding I did was because I was forced to in some way. Was I always falsely motivated? I was smart, but I didn't care. I only started excelling at school to hopefully make my father want to be...my father. And also, if he didn't want to be my dad-I would become a magnificent daughter who would shun him in his old age and hopefully send him to his grave regretting and miserable. Yep, I was that screwed up.
I got into the military for pride, patriotism, and to lower the amount of mouths to feed at home. I ran myself to death because my asshole ex belittled women saying, "The strongest women in the military were equal to the weakest man." So I busted ass at PT to prove him wrong. I was one of the top airmen, only because I hated being told what to do by people I thought were more ignorant than me. I know there are a lot of good reasons why I excelled, but I used my negative energy as fuel everything I did.
But now I am starting to find my fire again...one my own. It is actually frightening. I am nervous of failing myself, but nervous of succeeding as well. But I am very competitive, and a big part of me refuses to lose to *Suckie BonBon* So tomorrow...She's going down.

Saturday and Relaxing

Hmmm...what should I write about? Not doing too much here.
Oh! My New Year's Resolutions and hair stuff.
This year I want to finally be fit and in shape. I have a lot of jeans I got but they are a size 7, and I am a size 9. I don't have too far to go. This year I wanted to create habits out of my resolutions instead of them dwindling away by the end of the year. I want to drink 2 liters of water a day (conversion is 8 cups of water). BTW when they say 8 cups, they actually mean like 8 measuring cups...not 8 glasses. It is pretty easy to achieve this goal...at least it has been so far. I want to grow healthy hair. I cleared my goal of 6 inches for last year and am headed for another 6 this year. I am being gentle with my hair and letting it relax.
I am thinking of adding another goal to my regime...Out Run my Trikk( trikk is a trolley) I travel home by it after work. I am planning to bring my work out clothes and jog the path home. I was considering making a T-shirt also. Meg mot Trikken (Me versus the trolley)
And more on hair...
What do I use myself? Organics Root Stimulator's: Neutralizing shampoo (it has more goodies in it than the Creamy Aloe Shampoo), Replenishing Conditioner (smells like oranges...mmmm), Olive Oil Moisturizing Lotion, Olive Oil Sheen, and Olive Oil Smooth n Hold Pudding. I wash my hair every day nearly (your scalp needs to be cleansed regularly to reduce clogged pores and oil/product build up). But you have to gauge how often your hair needs to be washed ( I exercise a lot and sweat is not good to keep on the skin). Now that my hair is long enough to manage more styles, I am getting more enthusiastic about different styles. I am wearing Youtube OUT. Anyways, talk to you later.